


The Curious Incident Of The Egg

by cuxatroleum



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Action, Bacon, Bananas, Blockbuster - Freeform, Drama, F/M, Red Bull, Romance, Suspense, Tacos, a flock of swallows, bacon wrapped tacos, deceitful apparatus, egg, hair death, sexy head massages in the shower, shabby men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8530849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuxatroleum/pseuds/cuxatroleum
Summary: A short story about how Tyler lost his hair. He looks like an egg now but I dig it. Edgy af. Gives off Slim Shady vibes if you ask me.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the vessluts gc](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+vessluts+gc).



> i s2g i wrote this because i thought of a scenario that made me laugh so much i had to write it down, i'm not intending to be mean or make fun of tyler, i love him and i would never purposefully hurt his feelings

It was a chilly morning and Tyler was sitting on a folding chair outside his tour bus. The sun had not started to rise yet, so the only thing that somehow cut through the foggy darkness were the streetlights that had been working all night, shining through the broken blinds of the windows of the bus, making his sleep uneasy and restless, which had eventually resulted in him seeking comfort in the crisp cold outside.  
Besides, he enjoyed the quiet every now and then. Of course, it could be scary to be alone with his thoughts and being at risk to be devoured by them, but sometimes it seemed important to maybe have some kind of inner dialogue with himself to lend a voice to his demons and figure out ways to deal with them better.  
Also, he knew that his wife was still sleeping inside, as well as Josh in the bus next to theirs, so he didn't really feel alone. He knew, when he needed it, he could sneak into the bed of either of them and find comfort in their rhythmic breathing.   
Jenna sometimes used to snore a little, especially when she was sleeping on her back, but he loved it. The open mouth and innocent look on her face made her look like in the old pictures of her when she was a kid, that he had carefully sticked against his mirror along with a photo of Josh in high school - that Josh personally despised - but Tyler loved to mock him with it.

A flock of swallows was passing the sky, announcing that dawn was about to set in, the first hues of pink merging into the dark blue at the horizon and the streetlights finally starting to turn off. Tyler felt the words for a new song bubble up in his mind as he let his surroundings inspire him to create. Letting out a deep sigh of contentment, he closed his eyes and leaned back further in the folding chair, feeling himself being slowly engulfed by sleep and eventually falling unconscious completely. Peacefully being surrounded by the world around him slowly rubbing the sleep out of its eyes, his lips formed a relaxed smile in his dream.

When Jenna woke up and found the space beneath her empty and cold, she let out a tiny groan and then a big yawn that filled her whole face and let the sleep's nightmares slip out of her throat. Her blonde hair was tangled and greasy and the remains of yesterday's mascara that the cosmetic wipes hadn't been able of fully removing, had turned into a dark smudge around her eyes. Sleepily she glided into her loafers and slipped on a pale pink bathrobe to brace against the cold fall breeze outside. As she opened the door of the bus and took a step outdoors, her shoulders instantly started shaking. When she spotted Tyler sleeping in the old folding chair, her trembling chapped lips grew broader and a smile - that one everyone, who's ever been so deeply in love they don't know what to do with themself, knows - made her sky blue eyes shine ever so bright.

Looking at her husband sleep so peacefully after nights of having a fever and not being able to get proper rest made her wish for warmer weather. It was nice that he finally found some rest, but it was too cold to just leave him be, so she saw herself forced to wake him up to make sure he wouldn't get sick again.

"Hey Ty", she gently whispered, crouching down in front of him and cupping his face in her delicate hands.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but it's very cold outside. Please get back into bed. I can lay down with you if you want to, I wouldn't complain about a few more hours of sleep", she offered as Tyler slowly opened his dark brown eyes, staring at her tired, still creased face through thin slits.

"Hmm", he mumbled drowsily, lifting his arms to grab his wife and pull her into a hug. Careful to not lean onto Tyler too much to prevent the chair from collapsing, Jenna giggled and kissed his ear. 

"What are you doing, silly", she murmured, "trying to make us both end up on the pavement?"

Tyler closed his eyes again, slipping back into sleep and pulling Jenna closer to the ground. Not being able to hold herself up under the weight of his upper body, the woman clumsily fell over and landed on her husband, resulting in the chair eventually giving in to their bodies. 

"Ouch", the tired man said.

"What a mess", the tired woman observed.

"I'm sorry, I'm- I'm awake now", he then claimed, sitting up and leaning onto the shoulder of his wife.

"Can't we just remain like this?"

"Tyler. I'm freezing my butt off as we speak"

Pouting, he then went back on his feet and helped Jenna to do the same. Her hand was cold and shaking, so he put his around hers and then lifted it up to give it a kiss. 

"Let's get under the warm sheets again, shall we?", he asked with a grin, but Jenna shook her head.

"We're all muddy so we better get under the hot shower before anything else", she amended.

-

As they were standing in the tiny shower that was even too small for one person to comfortably fit in, their faces were drawn close together, wet streaks of hair partly blocking their views.

"I think it's time you cut my hair again", Tyler muttered.

"How am I supposed to properly see your pretty face when I've got all this hair in the way?"

Jenna chuckled, brushed the wet hair out of his face and kissed his forehead, giving the back of his head a gentle massage with her fingers. She had learned how to give him tiny head massages to ease the symptoms when he got painful migraines that would keep him from eating and sleeping, and just made him feel miserable overall. More often than not the massages would not really help much though, but Tyler just enjoyed the affectionate gesture in general so Jenna had started to just fondle his soft head every now and then without any particular occasion other than simply wanting to.

"Are you sure?", she asked, "I quite like the lenght"

"I'm sure"

Tyler's deep brown eyes were closed as he enjoyed her hands reaching his temples, then holding onto his face and giving him a kiss on the mouth. Smiling he returned the kiss and she started to giggle as well, as they suddenly heard a knock on the bus door.

"Hey guys, it's- it's Josh. Breakfast is ready and this time there's some serious business going on. I'm talking hot bacon and tacos. I'm not joking right now. The catering is serving actual tacos. You- you could wrap bacon around the taco and make it the ultimate heart-attack food. Tyler, if I'm going to die during breakfast today I'm not going to do it alone."

Jenna couldn't help but burst out in laughter as she watched Tyler's eyes widen. Quickly she turned the faucet off and opened the door of the shower cabin to step out and grab a towel while also throwing one in her husband's direction.

"Wait, I thought we were getting it on in the shower", he protested, but the tall woman in front of him just mockingly rolled her eyes.

"Boy, we're not getting it on while you're thinking about bacon-wrapped tacos. I can _sense_ you drooling from here."

Sheepishly, Tyler wrapped the towel around his hips and walked over to where he had left his clothes from last day. Still not feeling fully energized, he reached into a bag that had been resting on a small table and pulled a half-emptied can of red bull out. Jenna, who had seen him proceed, squinted her eyes and then slightly raised her voice to be heard through the lenght of the bus.

"Dear lord, please tell me that's not what it looked like from here. Please tell me just have bad eyesight and you did not actually have an already opened can of red bull in your bag"

"I made sure it wouldn't spill this time!", Tyler defended himself but Jenna was already on her way towards him. Suspiciously she pulled the zipper of the bag open wider and sticked her face inside it.

"It looks shiny inside though", she observed warily, then putting her hand inside to test if she could feel anything wet or sticky or both.

"Tyler."

"What"

" _Tyler_."

"There must've been a terrible mistake!"

"Yeah and that mistake was me marrying a toddler like you, Tyler Robert Joseph. You know I love you but sometimes i just want to kick you in the shin. You're lucky you're such an adorable bastard"

Tyler winced a little and started to nervously fidget with his wedding ring.

"You still love me though, right?", he choked out and Jenna couldn't hold back her smile any longer as she walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

"I just said that I do, silly. For now and forever. Just listen to me more often, will you?", she reassured him and then turned back towards the bag with the spilled red bull inside. She pulled some things out and laid them on the table. There hadn't been much stuff in the bag anyway; a pack of gum, some loose pencils and a beanie that would be easily washed, so it wasn't really that big of a deal. Then though, she proceeded to pull the shaver out and when she tried to turn it on to see if it was still working, she discovered that the sugary sweet fluid had broken the mechanics inside.

"Why was that in your bag anyway?", she asked confused, a resigned expression on her face. When she realized that Tyler didn't really seem to have an answer to that question she sighed and threw the defective thing into the bin resting next to their bed. It wasn't that dramatic since the shaver had been pretty old already anyway, but without she wouldn't be able to cut her husband's hair properly.

"Looks like your haitcut will have to wait until some other day", she proclaimed.

"For now, let's go have breakfast. I bet Josh is sitting somewhere starving because he'd feel rude starting without us."

-

"Hey Tyler, they had bananas so i saved one for you before the other crew members would eat all of them", Josh greeted them with a witty grin, casually leaning over the back of his chair. Tyler sat down next to him, gave the banana a disgusted look and shoved it further away from his part of the table using the back of his hand.

"I appreciate your effort to bully me, but my mom taught me to not take food from shabby looking men", he dryly declined his best friend's offer.

"What a shame. Anyway, what took you two so long? I've been waiting for ages"

Jenna threw Tyler a shady look and pointed to the redbull he was still holding in his hand as if it had been mechanically attached to it.

"Well we wanted to cut Tyler's hair but comes out he spilled redbull over the shaver and broke it so that isn't happening anymore"

Josh gave his friend an empathetic look and nodded understandingly. He too had managed to spill red bull over his stuff before, so he knew the pain of everything being sticky and gross and probably malfunctioning.

"You can use mine if you wanna", he offered eventually.

"Oh, thank you ho-"

"But only if we go get food already for pete's sake, I'm starving and it's your fault"

-

Sitting on a chair in Josh's bus and silently observing his wife and his friend leaning against the tiny counter where the kitchen sink was located and chatting, Tyler was waiting for them to start taking care of his hair. He wasn't really invested in their conversation since it was mainly about how Jenna didn't get why anyone would carry around a opened can of something in their bag in the first place and Josh acting like he totally didn't do that all the time. He then proceeded to rummage in the cupboard and pulled out a shaver. Proudly he handed it to her with a solemn gesture, grinning a wide Josh-smile where his eyes got all narrow and wrinkly around the corners. He had purchased it only a week or so ago, so offering to lend it to them didn't just stem from him being a nice guy, but also from the desire to brag a little. As Jenna took the expensive thing, her focused expression gave away her slight uncertainity towards it. She sure was convinced it was a nice shaver, but still she wasn't sure whether she would be able to use it as confidently as the old one.

"Where do I adjust the lenght I want to cut the hair to?", she asked, looking up at Josh with her big almond eyes. Her lips were slightly parted, as if to add something to her words. Her friend made her lift the shaver a little and then pointed to the little screen on the front of it.

"You type in a number with the buttons there and then you're ready to go. It's as simple as that", he explained and then gently brushed his pastel pink hair back with his fingers. Sadly, the vivid dyes he put in every month faded far too quick everytime.

"Anyways, I'm out now", he eventually announced and left the bus to head wherever. Jenna turned towards Tyler, who had a kind of bored expression on his face and had started to pick at the skin on his hands. When he noticed the woman approaching, he stopped and straightened his sitting postition, getting ready for her to start cutting his hair.

"How short do you want it?"

"I think 2cm on the top are okay. Not sure whether I want the sides shaved yet, though"

Remembering Josh's instructions, Jenna typed '2' into the device and then turned the blades on, resulting in a buzzing sound filling the narrow space inside the vehicle. Tyler closed his eyes and relaxed his shoulders. He liked the slight vibrations and the noise shaving his head produced and he also liked Jenna taking care of him. It remembered him of his childhood, back when his mom used to make sure he didn't look too messy. There had been a period of time where he used to go have his hair cut by barber but in the end he never quite liked the outcome, so Josh had started to make his haircuts. He knew best what suited his friend and since he had to see Tyler almost every day he took great caution to not mess his appearance up. Since Jenna was there though, she had gladly taken over that task.

Buzzing, she put the shaver on his hairline and started to slowly draw it towards the top of his head. Quickly she realized that something wasn't right as the part where she had just dragged the shaver was now shorter than the sides of her husband's head. Perplexed, her eyes widened in something you could describe as slight terror. The skin on her forehead started to form deep creases, as her eyebrows drew closer together. Suspiciously, she lifted the device closer to her face and stared on the screen. Instead of '2', it said '0.2' and she exhaled through her nose.

"What's wrong?", Tyler asked warily.

"Um", Jenna exclaimed, swiftly kicking the small pile of his hair that had fallen to the ground under his chair where he couldn't see it.

"I'm just not used to Josh's shaver yet, that's all", she lied. She knew he was going to find out anyway when they were done, but she didn't want him to freak yet. Maybe she could still make this look somehow decent. Aftler all, her husband had a pretty face and there wasn't much one could do to actually disfigure it. Letting out a sigh, she stared at the number on the screen a second time and then proceeded to cut the remaining hair on his top to that lenght.

"You know what?", she said after she was done, "I think we should shave the sides a little as well"

"Alright" 

Setting the lenght to '0.1' now to maybe make it look at least a little like a fade cut or something of that sort instead of a simple buzz cut, Jenna then shaved the rest of his head and when she was done, she defeatedly switched the deceitful apparatus off.

"Ty", she started to form an apology.

"Hm?", he answered distracted, brushing hairs off his shoulders. He would probably have to take another shower now. Maybe Jenna would join him again and they could continue where they left off the last time.

"I think I made it too short. I'm so sorry."

Jenna stared at him with sorrow in her eyes and a lump in her throat, nervously moistening her chapped lips with her tongue. He stared at her, trying to conceal his surprise and let out a soft smile to signal her that she didn't have to worry, when suddenly a mirror was held in front of his face. Processing the picture that showed his almost bald head, he wasn't really sure what to say.

"It looks fine", he eventually lied, forcingly choking back a tear.

"Are you sure?", she asked, not really convinced by Tyler's words, when suddenly Josh opened the door again and stuck his head inside. When he noticed Tyler, he let out a tiny gasp and then started to burst into laughter.

"You look like an egg!", he exclaimed, catching a death stare from Jenna. Rubbing the back of his hand against his mouth, he swallowed and tried to collect himself again.

"Oh, fuck off, would you?", Tyler snarled back, helplessly rubbing the stubby back of his head. When he saw Jenna's guilty expression, he rised from his chair and walked up to her. Straightening his back and broadening his shoulders slightly, he put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the eyebrow, without stopping to stare Josh in the eyes.

"It looks good, you just have bad taste."

Frowning, his wife shifted her head to be able to look him in the face.

"Are you serious?", she asked, slight concern resting in her voice. She despised the haircut, and if he actually liked it, it could mean that she would have to cut it to this lenght the next time again. Besides that, she loved to draw her fingers through his hair.

"Yeah", Tyler lied again.

"Let's go show it off to everyone"

He then grabbed Jenna and gently pulled her along. As they left the bus and Jenna passed Josh, he subtly leaned towards her.

"Don't worry, he hates it", he whispered in her ear. Relieved by hearing that piece of information, Jenna let out a tiny sigh and then proceeded to follow her husband, who now looked more like an egg than a grown man. A hot egg though, she thought.


End file.
